My husband is a Sassy Sleever.
Take that in for a minute. A Sassy Sleever.  He’s 6′, barrel chested, nicknamed “ox” in the Air Force for his ability to move large equipment. He rides a Harley Davidson Road King Police Edition. He’s got tattoos! He made bombs in the military. He’s very much a dudes dude.
When I told our 8-year old daughter this, her exact words were, “What the whaaa?” When my husband told me in the car very nonchalantly, I nearly shot unsweetened black iced tea out of my nose. 

Him: A Sassy Sleever. You know, on Facebook. It’s a gastric bypass support page. I didn’t like the other group.
Me: Mouth agape, then I can’t stop laughing. Like, big belly laughs that make your insides hurt.
The Sassy Sleevers are a group of people on Facebook  (5,183 to be exact) who share a common interest. They all had the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy procedure. Better known as “weight loss surgery”. In my husband’s case he’s as healthy as a horse but just happened to have an extremely slow metabolism. Like, normal would be 20. His was 2.  
The Sleeve procedure cuts away the “storage” part of the stomach so the food goes into a type of stomach “sleeve” instead of being stored in the pouch. This reduces your food intake to about 1/2 cup at a time. No bread. Little carbs. Very small sweets.
 After surgery my husband joined an online support group for people who had undergone Roun-ex-Y surgery. This is more invasive and involves rerouting the plumbing, so to speak. He found these people to be very negative. Like, It’s been six months and I still can’t eat ________! I had this surgery so I could eat whatever I want, just in smaller portions. I’m so unhappy. I’m so hungry. I hate my shakes. Etc. Etc. Etc.
So. Not. True. 
For example, I warmed up some leftover salmon from the other night and he couldn’t touch it. Texture, smell, usually not a problem. Now… forget it. 
Three months after surgery, he’s down 50 lbs. 75 if you count from May when he started the 6-month process of medical visits, counseling and testing. 
 He posted this collage to the Sassy Sleever Facebook page. It’s typical of what is seen there, except he’s like one of 3 other dudes on the site. But, hey, he’s always been a ladies man. 

 Ok, so, you’ve met the Sassy Sleever. Now wish him a happy birthday. He’s 43 today. 
I thought I’d celebrate by unearthing a few pictures of the 18th surprise birthday party I threw for him a while ago. Remember I told you we dated in high school in a previous post? Well, here’s the first piece of evidence.
He sure didn’t throw cake in my face on our honeymoon twenty-one years later!
We did the cake smashing thing at the party. Actually, I think I started it and then he quite enthusiastically took over. I was picking frosting out of my hair for a week. My acne medication at the time, because who wasn’t on some concoction of Retin-A, Tetracycline or Accutane at that point, totally freaked out the next day. It went on strike and didn’t return to work for two weeks. All for a little icing in the face? Come on. Wimps.
Even if you are 20 years early on the cake in the face episode, 
she might still marry you 20 years later. 

*Sassy Sleever Birthday Update*

What else do you get your 3-month post operative Bariatric husband for his birthday? Chocolate? Pie? Cake?

Nope. Flowers.

Those aren’t just any flowers. Do you see it? Look closer…

She’s so stinkin’ cute, that Nola
That’s right folks, a MEAT BOUQUET! The Sassy Sleever loves meat sticks, jerky, etc. I went to the Ledebuhr’s Meat shop, purchased six varieties of meat stick/jerky and thought, huh, that’s boring. Flowers are always good for birthdays, but they have to be manly. Manly flowers, I say!
So, I took the meat sticks/jerky into Nola at Nola’s Flowers.When I walked in and said, I have this idea, well, let’s just say Nola was totally up for it. We came up with this manly meat bouquet. 
The last time we came in and asked for something “special”, we ended up getting married in her shop.